Kitchen Table Truce
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Kitchen-table style

The Straight Talker

You say what you think, and you'd like the same from everyone else.

Your strength

You're honest, and people always know where they stand with you. That takes courage.

Something to watch

A strong argument can make people dig in, even when you mean well. Winning the point can cost you the person.

Try this next time

Before you make your case, say their view back to them until they say, "Yes, that's it."

A line that suits you

“So what I'm hearing is that you're worried about ___. Did I get that right?”

Techniques that suit you

  1. 01LoopingListen, say back what you heard, and keep going until they say “Yes, exactly.”
  2. 02Curious questionsAsk because you want to know, not to trap them.

Where to next

  1. 03Plan a conversationFour quick questions, one plan for your real person.
  2. 04Practice the conversationTry your style in a short, branching conversation before the real thing.

Most people are a mix, and your style can shift with the person and the day. Take it as a starting point, not a label. This is a mirror, not a test. We wrote these four styles for this site. It isn't a psychological assessment and hasn't been scientifically validated. Your answers stay on this page and are never sent or saved.

Share your style

The link shows only the style. It never includes your answers.

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The other three styles

  1. 01The PeacekeeperYou keep the table calm, often by steering away from the hard stuff.
  2. 02The ListenerYou'd rather understand someone than win.
  3. 03The Space-MakerWhen it heats up, your instinct is to step away.