For hosts

The Host's Truce Kit

Two printable pages for hosting people who see things differently: one for the days before, one to keep by the stove during the meal. Free, and yours to copy.

Two pages, US Letter or A4. Or choose Save as PDF in the print dialog to keep it on your phone.

What's inside

A checklist for the days before, with a heads-up message you can send everyone.
A seating sketch, so the people who tend to clash end up at opposite ends.
A toast to open the meal, and the exact words to steer things back if it heats up.
A place to write down your quiet signal, and a thank-you to send the next day.

Sheet 1 of 2

Before they arrive

The checklist

Decide your goal for the night. "Everyone leaves glad they came" is a good one.
Send the heads-up message below to everyone, not just the person you're worried about.
Agree on a quiet signal with a co-host for "help me change the subject."
Sketch the seating on this page.
Print the tent card and question cards, and set them out.
Plan something for after the meal: a walk, a game, dessert outside.
Turn the TV off and keep the news out of the room.
Decide where you'll take someone for a quiet word if they get upset.

Send ahead

A kind heads-up to everyone
“So looking forward to having you over. One small ask: let's give politics the night off and just enjoy each other. Thanks for helping make it a good one.”
A note to the guest you're worried about
“Really glad you're coming. I know we don't see eye to eye on everything, and that's okay. I just want a good night with you.”

Seating sketch

Put people who tend to clash at opposite ends, each beside someone easygoing. Sit where you can see everyone.

The Host's Truce Kit · Free at kitchentabletruce.com/host-kit

Sheet 2 of 2

At the table

To open the meal

Say it out loud when you sit down
“Before we eat: whatever any of us thinks about the news, I'm really glad you're all here. Tonight's a kitchen table truce.”

If it heats up

A light redirect
“Okay, house rule tonight: no politics. Who wants seconds? And I still need to hear how the trip went.”
If someone keeps going
“I hear you, and I'm going to ask us to park this one for tonight. Can you give me a hand in the kitchen?”
Checking in quietly afterward
“Hey, you okay? I know that got a little tense. I'm really glad you're here.”

Our quiet signal

Agree on it with a co-host before anyone arrives.

If you need a minute

Say it, then go
“I'm going to get some air. I'll be back in a few minutes.”

The next day

The next day
“Thanks for coming last night. It meant a lot to have everyone around the table.”